forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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