pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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