I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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