I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
