dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
