My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
