We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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