i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
