I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
