Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
