ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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