I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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