is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
