Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Congratulations! We have a period
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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