I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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