fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
