is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
