If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
