it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
