she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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