great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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