You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
