arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize