If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!