Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...

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  (330): How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there... http://tfl.nu/bdjq
  Replies (30) Good night (721) Bad night (2231)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.

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  (608): TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS. http://tfl.nu/ccyr
  Replies (11) Good night (2843) Bad night (821)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.

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  (610): There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here. http://tfl.nu/6w86
  Replies (30) Good night (1482) Bad night (13086)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya

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  (507): I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya http://tfl.nu/oizi
  Replies (22) Good night (4237) Bad night (1526)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..

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  (781): i just added no after every hockey player in my phone.. http://tfl.nu/mdhx
  Replies (13) Good night (2338) Bad night (1109)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.

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  (307): They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting. http://tfl.nu/gm65
  Replies (7) Good night (2780) Bad night (1226)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.

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  (217): We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater. http://tfl.nu/r45m
  Replies (4) Good night (1688) Bad night (677)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Oh that's normal

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  (401): No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus. (1-401): Oh that's normal http://tfl.nu/3sqc
  Replies (6) Good night (2073) Bad night (611)
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  (818): View more from California

  My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.

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  (818): My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap. http://tfl.nu/eas6
  Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (956)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.

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  (785): We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool. http://tfl.nu/h5uz
  Replies (5) Good night (1920) Bad night (555)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.

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  (801): Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment. http://tfl.nu/y6m4
  Replies (16) Good night (915) Bad night (1567)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch

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  (+61): She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch http://tfl.nu/x1qz
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.

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  (515): If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting. http://tfl.nu/i2k9
  Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.

  (510): View more from California

  See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed

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  (916): She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true. (510): See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed http://tfl.nu/tsp4
  Replies (1) Good night (960) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird

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  (315): dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird http://tfl.nu/6em9
  Replies (1) Good night (772) Bad night (274)

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