Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache

(225): View more from Louisiana

You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice

(504): View more from Louisiana

Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?

(225): View more from Louisiana

I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....

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(504): Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache (225): You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice (504): Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time? (225): I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz.... http://tfl.nu/t0ng

Replies (4) Good night (1488) Bad night (684)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.

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(540): Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting. http://tfl.nu/24nu

Replies (56) Good night (7711) Bad night (1223)
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(760): View more from California

I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.

(818): View more from California

haha i love mojitos

(760): View more from California

ya and i hate cabbage

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(760): I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage. (818): haha i love mojitos (760): ya and i hate cabbage http://tfl.nu/vdoy

Replies (1) Good night (633) Bad night (2042)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?

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(778): i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea? http://tfl.nu/q7z7

Replies (44) Good night (3805) Bad night (802)
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(206): View more from Washington

Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.

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(206): Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun. http://tfl.nu/3gwj

Replies (39) Good night (11824) Bad night (839)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna

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(780): We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna http://tfl.nu/yjmv

Replies (14) Good night (1743) Bad night (4402)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after

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(613): I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after http://tfl.nu/kbgy

Replies (14) Good night (1167) Bad night (3516)
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(281): View more from Texas

My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone

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(281): My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone http://tfl.nu/zfoz

Replies (8) Good night (8127) Bad night (1046)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.

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(412): My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me. http://tfl.nu/dzz5

Replies (40) Good night (869) Bad night (7640)
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(210): View more from Texas

i had confetti in my bra

(1-210): View more from Texas

i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me

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(210): i had confetti in my bra (1-210): i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me http://tfl.nu/08sl

Replies (25) Good night (4075) Bad night (1053)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

well in DOG beers, i've only had one

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(717): well in DOG beers, i've only had one http://tfl.nu/2mnf

Replies (20) Good night (5473) Bad night (844)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them

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(570): Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them http://tfl.nu/2e8h

Replies (4) Good night (959) Bad night (531)
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(210): View more from Texas

I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.

(210): View more from Texas

my parents really loved me back then.

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(210): I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed. (210): my parents really loved me back then. http://tfl.nu/7xue

Replies (9) Good night (1361) Bad night (480)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.

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(412): wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/kdfi

Replies (4) Good night (368) Bad night (745)
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(214): View more from Texas

Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder

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(214): Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder http://tfl.nu/tsd5

Replies (1) Good night (226) Bad night (425)

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