So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?