everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
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Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.