Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  the recession has oofficially hit my standards.

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  (212): the recession has oofficially hit my standards. http://tfl.nu/xl9z
  Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (1972)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect

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  (317): I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect http://tfl.nu/eleg
  Replies (13) Good night (1156) Bad night (2393)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.

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  (319): he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me. http://tfl.nu/lhdj
  Replies (53) Good night (1076) Bad night (4511)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  what the hell does that mean?

  (208): View more from Idaho

  nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages

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  (208): dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here (1-208): what the hell does that mean? (208): nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages http://tfl.nu/of9o
  Replies (26) Good night (2692) Bad night (4063)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while

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  (425): Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while http://tfl.nu/c37v
  Replies (15) Good night (4708) Bad night (1283)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had

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  (717): They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had http://tfl.nu/qmkc
  Replies (46) Good night (4911) Bad night (1777)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.

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  (970): I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more. http://tfl.nu/19ra
  Replies (3) Good night (2792) Bad night (881)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Im 95% ready to shit behind 711

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  (360): Im 95% ready to shit behind 711 http://tfl.nu/2mf3
  Replies (4) Good night (1235) Bad night (2154)
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  (626): View more from California

  I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.

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  (626): I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses. http://tfl.nu/ogb0
  Replies (3) Good night (1209) Bad night (570)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.

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  (303): YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW. http://tfl.nu/0vlm
  Replies (2) Good night (1075) Bad night (450)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!

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  (502): Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors! http://tfl.nu/muzx
  Replies (3) Good night (1060) Bad night (519)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.

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  (973): We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record. http://tfl.nu/5jg2
  Replies (2) Good night (768) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?

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  (915): She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex? http://tfl.nu/yio0
  Replies (1) Good night (772) Bad night (331)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Damn, well, it could always be worse

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad

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  (423): Damn, well, it could always be worse (1-423): For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad http://tfl.nu/5yq7
  Replies (0) Good night (397) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.

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  (540): A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be. http://tfl.nu/g1v3
  Replies (0) Good night (414) Bad night (257)

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