Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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