I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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