we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize