if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize