just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
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I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
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You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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