i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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