that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
