I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
