marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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