Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
