i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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