I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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