Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
