I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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