She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
