I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize