just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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