Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
