I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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