today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
