then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
