Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
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It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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