i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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