My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
