thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
