I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
