happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You made out with two different species that night
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
