im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
