3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
