I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
