You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so let's talk penis.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
