windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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