dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm bleeding and have questions
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
