Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
