you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
